Who is God to me? One of God’s Hebrew names is: El Elyon which means “God is Boss of Everything”. That is who He is to me. God tells me what he wants me to do every day of my life. I’m serious reader. He does! I have been told I lead a very strange life – I do! I believe I am one of those “peculiar” people the Bible talks about. Why? Because, individuals make sure they remind me of it during the time they are giving me their opinions on how I should live my life. That is their opinion. However, it is not God’s. I have many acquaintances and very few friends (there is a difference). I go very few places and I spend 100% of my days talking to God, studying, writing and listening. I have volumes of material already and people keep asking me when are you going to publish it? I have been publishing a great deal of it in what I call bits and pieces for some time! However, I am waiting on God to tell me when and how He wants me to completely publish it. You see He knows the anointed appointed time He wants it done. Therefore, I wait, and I keep on listening and writing.
Many people have asked me, “How did you come to this point in your life?” So, I will share some information about my journey. When I was in my early to mid-forties I was coming out of a time of deep depression and my desire for God in my life began to change. Prior to that I can’t tell you I stopped and spent long periods of time with God praying and listening. Because I didn’t! Oh! I thought about God daily – but I wasn’t content! During this time, I was struggling a great deal with my emotions and my feelings. I knew I was missing something! I began to call out to God to help me. I wanted God to tell me what to do! Why? Because the way my life was at that moment – couldn’t be what He had for me. I wanted all of God I could get! During this time my oldest son came home on break from college. He told me about a girl at college who heard God’s voice and He (God) told her everyday what to do right down to what clothes to wear! That story never left my heart. After hearing that story, I remembered what I had seen and heard as a small child. I used to hear my grandmother talking to God all the time! When I heard her talking to God, I would sneak up behind her and listen! I knew she wasn’t just praying because of the pauses she would take. She asked questions of God and waited for an answer! These two truths came together, and I knew that I knew I wanted God to tell me what toothpaste to use! I wanted to hear God’s voice!
Time marched on. I began to tell people I wanted a relationship with God – and I wanted to hear His voice. They laughed at me. That was okay because people laughed at Jesus when He was on earth. I stopped watching TV because I didn’t want to take the chance of missing God’s voice! My husband was so patience with me – he always supported everything I headed out to do – he wanted me to succeed in what ever I attempted. I was working all day and teaching workshops one night a week. Plus, I was going to school three nights a week for my state certification which would enable me to work with people with addictions. Then in my early fifties It happened! God set before me the keys to hearing God’s voice. Yes, there are what I call keys to hearing God’s voice! I began to be able to tell God’s voice from my own thoughts. During this time my thoughts, perspectives and thinking patterns began to change in many ways and I began to feel secure in the fact I was where I should be.
However, in my mid fifties my husband was diagnosed with Cancer. I quit my job in order to care for him. He was so very sick, and he passed away in 1998 not long after my Father. He had been fighting cancer for about four years! During that time, I was teaching in my home once a week. God would not let me stop! I can’t tell you I never had moments of feeling like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me – I did. I can’t tell you I never woke up in the morning feeling exhausted – I did! Most mornings during those years I would roll out of bed on to the floor on my knees feeling as if I couldn’t go on. However, I understood God was sustaining me. The moment my knees hit the floor each day God would start talking to me encouraging me and assuring me of His love for me! He was there with me every moment. I could feel his presence come over me. I would ask God for supernatural strength to get through each day – and He supplied it!
I’m far from perfect. However, I’m working on being who God wants me to be for HIM. Therefore, I press on! You know why? I want to please God! I try my best to accomplish what He has for me to do each day.
You see I have NO SAFE OPTION but to do what He wants! There is no alternative, no multiple choice. WE ALL HAVE BUT ONE DIRECTIVE, AND THAT IS – TO DO HIS WILL.